why I wore a tie to church

Today I wore a white shirt, tie, and a natty blazer to church with my skirt and heeled shoes. I wore makeup, too, if you can believe it. I did not wear pants to church.

One. I don't own any nice pants that still fit me. Entirely different post, to be sure.
Two. I did not feel impressed to follow this particular form of group demonstration.

But, in my soul searching and thoughts, I have been reminded that I don't understand the hearts of everyone. I don't know why certain women feel hurt and unfair treatment because of their gender. I have no right to question them and their consternation.

Do I have my own concerns about the overall treatment and divisiveness of gender roles within the LDS church? Sure, I do. When asked to explain them, I struggle to relate my emotions and the things I have come to understand. Ironically, at these moments my feminine qualities have become the visible rationale to naysayers and my defense is faulted. I get emotional. Old school mentality would then belittle this feminine quality as to reason why women are the weaker sex.

It is this emotional side that led me to wear a tie today. It was not purple, it was not pants, but it was my way of saying: "Hey. Pants wearers and non-pants wearers. We're all here. We all belong. You are not better than those who chose to do the opposite. We are all on a journey towards Christ and I support your journey. Whatever it is. I support you."

Some people feel uncomfortable with those women who struggle with not having the priesthood or with those females who wear pants to church. Perhaps they think that these women don't understand the Gospel teachings and should even find another church. No. And seriously? No. Why does someone's spiritual journey have to counteract your own? I do not want the priesthood, but I hear the arguments of those women who would like to give a priesthood blessing to their children and my heart understands. I believe that God knows all circumstances and is a compassionate, benevolent God who will give blessings to those who ask Him.

I wore a tie because I did not want to take a strong stance on my own perceived idea of what I think other people are thinking. (ahummana wha?) First try to understand, and then be understood. Sisters and brothers. 

I understand that feminism is a title used for both strengthening and belittling women. Some people hear the word "feminist" and they get angry. Some roll their eyes, some think of bras burning. Others think of important female figures and mothers who have taught and worked to make future women feel that they have worth and a voice. I know this line between sides is hard-drawn in heavy permanent marker. It is difficult to convince either side to open up to the other. C'est la vie, je suppose.

Beyond all of that, the God in whom I believe and put my faith and His Son plead for us to love all men. (and women.)  It's kind of a commandment.

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