These are my FUGGs today (Fake Uggs, for the uninitiated). They are ugly and warm and the sound that they make reminds me of the horrible moving debacle of 2008.
You see, Alan's company was paying a certain amount of dollars to assist us in moving from Arizona to Utah. It sounded like a LOAD of cash and I felt like we were going to be able to move in style.
Yes, pack up everything for me and have it unpacked in my new house when I get there. Thankyouverymuch. Here's a ten spot as a promise of equally generous tips to come.
Except, moving--as I soon found out--costs a lot of money. Like a ridiculous amount of money. We have moved plenty of times in our 13-year marriage (I think we are on our 9th place) but we have never paid anyone to "move for us" and this was going to be a treat.
It was not a treat, however. It was kind of horrible. You can read about it all here, if you feel like torturing yourself and never wish to move again in your life. I would rather stick a fork in my eye four times than relive that day, but that would just sound dramatic.
What does this have to do with FUGGs? Isn't it obvious? The girlfriend of the professional mover that "helped" get all of our items from one state to the other wore her own version of FUGGs as her hard-working mover shoes. I think they might have been a size or two too large, because she flopped and dragged those FUGGs all over our homes. I could hear her dangling shoes raking the floors back and forth, back and forth. This was her first move and she was doing it with her boyfriend so that they could make some extra dough. I think they broke up at the end of the "job" because the moving company obviously oversold us all on the deal.
I swore afterwards that I would never wear FUGGs so long as I lived.
Which lasted one winter.
FUGGs are kind of like flip flops. They aren't attractive (oh, don't get so offended flip flop wearers. I wear them, too. Be honest.). You wouldn't wear them to any place particularly nice or to impress a future employer, etc. (So, maybe I wore a "fancy" version of flip flops with my wedding dress. I was young and it was August in Arizona.) They both make annoying sounds. They drag, they wear down, they do nothing to make your calves look thinner. But they both do wonders for keeping your feet at an ideal temperature. They are quick to put on and easy to remove. You have even convinced yourself that they both look good with a skirt.
One of these days, I will find a replacement for these ugly FUGGs of mine. (Have you ever chuckled at the irony that UGGs are named so similarly to the word that describes them best? no? Just me? interesting.) But until that day, nothing gets my cold toes out to the garage, the grocery store, and the school in the snow better than my horrible, no good, rotten FUGGs.